Blah

I love Christmas. It's the season of giving and joy. This year, though, I'm having a hard time feeling the cheer. I know it's not technically December yet but I've been trying to get into it early. 

I broke my leg at the knee in a showering incident at the end of September and basically downward spiraled into poverty. I had to stop tutoring completely and lost several jobs because I was bedridden. I only had my online business and it being in its infancy, means breaking even most months. 

I've taken an online teaching job from home while I recover but debt doesn't wait. With my landlord threatening eviction monthly, the stress has become a mountain of stress on my soul. I can feel the grime of greed and callousness peeling away the layers of happiness that I've been wrapping myself with. 

I think the most disheartening thing was getting my cast removed, only to still not be able to get back to work right away. 

My first steps out of my cast taught me that physical therapy is necessary to retrain your body. 

It's been 3 weeks of being cast free and since I can't afford to go to physical therapy, I've been working on getting stronger by myself (with my girlfriend's help). 

Once able to amble around again, I had 1 tutoring job left to go back to, the parents were kind enough to recommend me to their friends. I now have 2 families to tutor a week. 

It just feels like such an uphill battle for survival. Like breaking my leg broke my spirit along with it. 

So I started watching Christmas movies on November 1st so I could feel the spirit of Christmas because I really need it. Having to sit out of Halloween and many other of my favorite activities really put a damper on the joyous flame that burns within. I was hoping that Hallmark would help me rekindle it. 

TITZ Intimate Boutique: A Love Story

Opening my own store has been the greatest and most tiring thing I've ever done! I've talked about the 14-18 hour days, all of which I'm humped over in front of the computer, my iPad and my phone. Working online means constant staring at screens. But I also feed my shopping demons by getting to buy cool things almost everyday!

I have reviewed a few products through my blog in the past. Today I want to review my online shop TITZ. Now it may seem unethical to review my own store so I want to do it a little differently. I, like most businesses, order wholesale from factories. This is a journey through finding the perfect items and review of the people and places I deal with daily in order to bring the coolest things to my store. 

The first thing I ever bought for my shop was pasties. I had gone to a Sexpo and met many vendors there. One sold very cool and well made pasties. I figured with Festival season happening soon, I'd have the market to sell them. I had never bought wholesale before and wasn't the most prepared. I learned very quickly that while some wholesalers will sell you a few items at a time for a slightly higher price, most want you to buy in bulk. 

After ordering over 300 pairs of pasties, I was ready to start. I could only hope that I would have enough nipples that wanted covering. I quickly made my first sell but my follow up act took longer to cultivate. I had a few potential customers but those sells usually involved a midnight plea and a 7am flight. My teleportation skills being what they are, I couldn't make those sells happen. I knew I had to  branch out. 

I had only been selling pasties for a week when I was asked to participate in a festival fund raiser. Dragon Burn, China's very own version of Burning Man. I quickly agreed. My first pop up shop and I had 297 pasties and nothing more. I needed inventory but what would I sell? After talking to many factories and being rejected or ignored by half of them, I found a few to work with. Of course this was a great time to practice my mandarin skills because out of the 10 factories I was working with, 2 spoke English. I had a week to order bulk and get things arranged. I ended up having half of the things delivered to the venue the day of. One company, the worst company ever, sent my order on the day I needed it so it arrived the day after the event. I was a lingerie shop without lingerie. Not only did it arrive too late but the quality was so poor, I use the products for craft projects. The factory didn't even complete my order. They only sent half and it was completely unusable. 

Despite the huge and minor setbacks, my first pop up market was hugely successful for my shop.  Since then I have participated in Flea market but quickly learned that my brand new goods don't fair as well against a 10 rmb secondhand table. I'm learning as I go. After opening in April, I am at a crossroads. It's only been a few months but business in Shanghai is like wildfire, it moves pretty quickly. I'm having to choose between working with factories and people who helped me start and doing what's best for my company. More than once a week, I have to talk to companies that I've been working with about my orders. I am met with forgetfulness about my orders that paid but not sent, that are paid but out of stock. Business is hard and spending all of my free time on it is tough but I wouldn't give up my business for anything. 

I have started using my business to help NGOs and charities. My heart is constantly breaking for all the bad in the world. I know throwing money at the issues isn't enough but I feel that if I create a t-shirt or other item that helps raise awareness and also donate money, it will help. If I can't physically be in the trenches, I can still support. Doing nothing is the only way we ensure our failure. My shop is owned by a black queer woman, I represent 3 underfed, underfunded communities, so I have dedicated my store and my story to them. 

I have purchased the domain name sleepingtopless.com but the process of getting my own website has been long and arduous. In Shanghai many people have their own small businesses but they also work a day job and because of this their passion gets put to the side. I would really prefer to work with people with similar dreams to mine so I have employed several of these entrepreneurs. Unfortunately I aftero purchasing the domain name in May, it wasn't until June that I actually found a good hosting company and now July, I am working with two different web designers on my website design. Hopefully it will come to fruition soon. Until then here is the link to my online store, feel free to add me on WeChat or Facebook to make a purchase: http://weidian.com/?userid=951605525&string=noopenidfound&code=0310Vsod17AkWo0mpand1Itxod10VsoW&state=H5WXshare

(My dream website layout)

My First Vibrator

My first vibrator was a teal "pocket rocket". I bought it on a very quick trip into the local Hustler of Hollywood. My trip was quick because my city was protesting the sex toy superstore and I was afraid of being caught by the news cameras camped outside. This was the summer after I turned 19. Since then, I've tried and done many more things. But I will be honest, I bought and used this vibrator for several years before I truly understood how to use it. Times have changed and you can buy these things over the internet. Bloggers like me have written and post reviews about every sex toy under the sun! But what should you consider before purchasing your first vibrator?

65% of women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation alone, rather than sexual penetration, so for most beginners a vibrator is the best place to start, rather than a dildo. And, while that narrows down your choices, there are still many types of vibrators to choose from and not all of them are ideal for beginners.

Bullets and eggs:

Bullets and egg vibrators are very small and usually fairly powerful for their size. They are discrete and fairly affordable for first-time buyers. They come in many various designs, range in speeds from single to multiple speeds and vibrating patterns. All are fairly simple to use and are perfect for a first time buyer. 

Pocket Rockets:

Pocket Rockets are the best selling small clitoral vibrators on the market. They are the size of a mini pocket flashlights and are very discrete, affordable and simple to use. I prefer them over bullets and eggs because they are easier to manipulate and hold on to, especially if you are wet or slippery with lube. Basic pocket rockets are one speed only, which is usually enough power for a younger woman. I recommend multiple speed rockets because you have more variation and you won’t outgrow them. These are a bit more expensive but worth the investment. 

Wands:

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the best selling and most powerful vibrator ever made, but it is often way too powerful for a first-time buyer. However, other body massagers are much smaller, have more variations in speed and are some of my most favorite vibes. My all time favorite vibrator is the Scorpio massager. It costs about 350rmb and is double sided to give you that extra oomph of power. This vibe is great for the beginner and expert vibe enthusiastic as it is multi-speed, but also very discrete and quiet.

There are several other types of vibrators on the market, but none as ideal for beginners as the three types above. The rabbit vibe is a great example. These vibes feature a vibrating dildo for penetration and clitoral stimulator (flicking rabbit ears) in one. They are much more sophisticated than clitoral-only vibes and may be too advanced for a beginner. 

G spot vibes are dildos with a curved shape that facilitate G spot stimulation. Most beginners have a hard time stimulating their G spot, so I wouldn't recommend these to start with. Classic and phallic shaped vibes are more geared towards penetration and are not ideal for clitoral stimulation. Strap-on (butterfly) vibes and vibrating panties are not very comfortable, lack power and are hard to position where you want them (hello, clitoris!). Couple's vibes are very expensive, not very powerful, and though fun to play with, I don’t recommend them for beginners. Luxury vibes are usually very beautiful, discrete, but super expensive and often lack power as well. 

Love Rings or vibrating cock rings are great for beginners who want to explore together. They are inexpensive, usually disposable, and can be a great addition to sex with a partner. But, since we are mainly talking about masturbation and self-pleasure here, we'll get back to them at another time.

Whatever you choose... Remember to have fun, relax and let pleasure be your guide!       

Love, Misty

Groped

I love a good groping porn movie every once in a while (yes I said porn movie because it is a movie). Porn, no matter how seemingly real is fiction. Just like professional wrestling and most reality shows, it is staged. It may have less production value and no budget for CGI but it is as fake as the latest Disney or MGM film. 

Why do I point this out? Because for whatever reason, we live in a world where people think porn is real life. Where someone can grab a stranger and thinks it will lead to spontaneous sex. This is NOT the real world! 

Don't believe me? Here are several very true and very scary stories about what happened to me and to too many people I know. All women have these fears. 

Groped:

I get, on average, at least one package delivered a day. I may or may not have an online shopping addiction. (Just kidding) I run a business and have things delivered all the time! 

Last week, I received a package from a different delivery service. The company you purchase from chooses who delivers your packages. This time instead of a young man in a uniform, it was a man, around 60-70 years old, dressed in regular clothes. He asked me to sign for my package. As he was handing me a pen, he grazed my breast with his hand. I assumed it was an accident. Why would a random old man try to molest me? But instead of apologizing, he grabbed me again and kept telling me how big my chest is. I freaked out. I was in shock, I was disgusted, I was afraid. I couldn't think to yell, I tried to guard myself and fold up as small as I could. I wanted to shrink into nothingness and disappear. I pushed him out of the doorway and slammed the door in his face.  He was just standing there smiling as if we both had a great time. As if he didn't grope and molest me. Later, after I stopped yelling at myself, calls were made to the company to complain. The company said, "Too bad. We don't care. Call the police." They refused to give any information about the man in order to file a report. They also refused to punish the man at all. Now every time the doorbell rings, my heart drops a little and I wonder if I should bring something to protect myself. I'm afraid of who is on the other side of the door and what will happen to me if I open it. 

Bikes:

Here in China, we have many forms of transportation, we can take the subway, a bus, a taxi or a scooter. Every time we take any of these, we are risking our lives. We've all seen the videos and lived through driving in China. I was always more afraid of a wreck than a pervert. No one thinks that the person driving could be a sexual deviant. 

I was on my way home from work and decided to take a moped home. I can't count how many times I've done this, it's fast, it's cheap and it usually is no problem. But this day, my driver had other ideas. He grabbed my thighs. I was originally riding side saddle and assumed he was motioning me that it was unsafe. As I sat straddled against him, and we sped towards my destination, his hand got higher and tighter on my thigh. At the end of the ride, I hopped off the bike, threw money at him and got away. Now I ride my own bike but I've heard many stories like this, even in taxis. We have to be on guard every second of everyday... It doesn't seem fair! 

But I find you sexy:

I was taking the subway home during rush hour. It was the beginning of it, so it wasn't so bad, not incredibly crowded yet. I was standing in front of the doors because my stop was next. I became aware of a man standing next to me and staring at me. This isn't unusual, people stare all the time, I rarely notice it anymore but he was standing just a little too close to me and staring a little too hard. As I made my exit out of the subway car, he struck up a conversation with me in English. He asked where I was from, what do I do in Shanghai and how long I have lived here. I was polite and answered because I don't mind letting people practice their English with me. He then asked if I was here with my family, which translates to: Are you married? I will hit on you now. I told him I live with my girlfriend. I wanted him to understand that he, not only, had no chance with me but also that I wanted the conversation over with. As I walked to the escalator to leave the station, he explained to me that he understood that I was a lesbian. He asked, "You don't like boys?" I replied no. He said, "But I find you sexy, I'm attracted to you." And he grabbed my hand and held it tightly. I couldn't get away from his grip and we were trapped on the escalator going up. I was afraid because I didn't know his intentions. I wasn't sure what to do. He expressed his attraction towards me as if it trumped my sexuality. This man who had known me for all of 5 minutes felt like he had rights to me. We exited the station and it was raining so I used my umbrella as an excuse to politely break his grip on me. He followed me to the corner asking me if I wanted him sexually and grabbing at my umbrella hand. Finally, he said he lived the other way and I was able to get away. I didn't walk straight home, I stopped in a shop to unravel the tension in my head. When I did go to my apartment, I ran the 5 flights as fast as possible incase I was followed. I wondered how many women have this happen to them. I worry that most of us are too polite to know what to do. 

These are only 3 of the stories. There are countless more and they happen everyday. This time the ladies were lucky. The violation they suffered could have been much worse. There are news articles about rapes by delivery men, rape-murders by taxi drivers and people being attacked anywhere. Somedays it doesn't feel safe to leave the house but they come to your home. Why do we live in a rape culture? Is it because we think fiction like porn is a reality? Is it because we don't value each other as humans? I won't say these ladies are lucky to have survived because there is no luck when it comes to being violated, no matter how big or small. This is everyone's problem! 

Even as the women told these stories, people began to tell them what they should have done. Can you imagine feeling like you have no rights to your own body and then hearing, from friends, how you handled it poorly? This, however seemingly passive, is victim blaming. No one knows how they will react until it happens to them and I hope with all of my heart, they never have to find out. 

Bottom line: Rape culture sucks! Let's stop it!!! 

Misty 

Masturbation Month toy review

May is Masturbation Month and my friends at Middle Sex Toys have shared a few toys with us to jumpstart our orgasms. You may have seen the infographic about why, how and with what we use to masturbate. 53% of women use toys to help them reach the big O. If you're part of the 53% who do or in the 47% who don't, it's time to take notes on my favorite 3 toys they sent my way! 

The Bullet with Remote:

This simple gadget is fun for external and internal use. It comes with a remote so that you or your partner can control the speed. I'm getting into remote controlled toys more because they don't stop the fun. For most bullets that don't have remote access, they either don't have any speed or vibration variations or you have to stop in the middle to change the settings.  With a remote, they fun is seamless. I also have a soft spot in my heart corded remotes because you don't have to worry about the remote/sensor communication once it's inside you. I give this toy 💗💗💗💗💟 Four hearts. It comes from a family of bullets, so for added fun, I'd suggest the rabbit bullet which comes with 2. 

The Butterfly and the Goose:

Like similar "rabbit style " vibrators, these two aim to please. Each has a 12 pearl rotating interior to add to the powerful vibrations. The goose comes equipped with a small lightly spiked section that is perfect fit G-spot stimulation while the beak of the Goose rubs the clit. They come from the Jack Rabbit sex toy line which has been bringing pleasure for years. I occasionally have a issue with feeling pleasure from sex toys because of their size or material but these two were great! Between the rotating beads and multiple vibration speeds and rhythms, I was very satisfied! I give them 5 hearts!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️ I recommend for anyone who needs or likes multiple sensations to reach the mighty O! **Note: these sweet animals are not quiet. So if you're sneaking in a quickie, you might want to play some light music.**

All in all, I'm very impressed with these toys and highly recommend them. Middle Sex Toys is a wholesale company out of Ningbo, China. They are the nicest company I've had the pleasure of working with and I look forward to collaborating with them in the future! Check back later to see if I take the giant remote control dildo on and hear all about wands! The possibilities are endless!

Kisses, 

Misty 

May is Masturbation Month

In celebration of Masturbation Month, our friends over at JimmyJane have come up with this clever infographic.

Shanghai Sexpo

Stepping off the bus, I was unsure what to expect. I have been to many conventions, from Comic Cons to hair shows but this was my first Sex Toy convention. I prepared my girlfriend by saying everyone attending is either in the industry or a pervert. I was prepared for slightly sticky floors and lots of creepy men. What I experienced while there was far from my expectations. I arrived on the last day, 3 hours before closing. I bought my ticket through WeChat which proved a little difficult because the registration was in Chinese but the WeChat ticket person spoke some English. 

After buying tickets, I entered through the giant pink and white archway and was greeted by a 3 foot tall Buddha statue with a 3 foot long penis. His torso was wrapped in chains in BDSM fashion. 

Once inside the belly of the beast, I saw row upon row of booths filled with everything from pocket pussies to dildos and anal beads. It being the last day, some of the booths were empty and a few were packing up but everything else was in full swing. I peruse as many booths as possible. I saw couples, singles, expats and experts. We were all there to get the latest information and technology in sex. My favorite booths were the over the top bedroom scenes that set the tone of the products. My least favorite booth was a specific sex doll shop that specializes in "life size" dolls that look like children of adolescent age. 

I was impressed by the array of toys and products. Of course the ratio of penis shaped sex toys out weighed the more creative ones but overall it was nice. I was also impressed by the company NV Toys for their gay friendly prostrate toys. There was something for everyone! 

On the second floor, there were tech booths, a stage for performances and giveaways, as well as Japanese Adult Entertainers. Being the last day of the show, I missed all of that fun. Supposedly they showed the latest in virtual reality porn. 

As we wandered the halls and booths, I ran into an adult entertainer. We were asked to pose together holding sex toys. There are no less than 30 videos and hundreds of photos of us in the phones of her fans. 

All in all, it was a fun day! I even got a few free products and some goodies for my readers!

XOXO,

          MISTY

L'AMOUROSE PARAMOUR Classique

The Tease:

L'AMOUROSE combines intuitive design, a tradition of craftsmanship, and technological innovation to create lifestyle products that enhance your intimate experiences.

The PARAMOUR trio comes with: the PARAMOUR remote control, PARAMOUR vibration bullet, MAE bullet vibe silicon cradle, LANA partner vibe silicon cradle, CLARK gentleman's ring silicon cradle,a charger and travel adaptor. 

**PARAMOUR Vibration Bullet which includes 5 vibration modes and 12 speeds suited for a wide array of intimate activities.

**The remote control allows you or your partner to control the bullet held in one of the silicone cradles. It controls the pleasure up to 15 meters away and has a touch pad to control vibrations. The controller also doubles up as a charger for the bullet.

The Talent: 

Paramour Pleasure Partners Set (according to L'AMOUROSE) - 

Waterproof

Innovative Touch Control

Personalised Mode

Interchangeable Bullet

Robust Vibrations

FDA-Grade and phthalate free silicone

18 Month Warranty

Lifetime Guarantee

Available in 2 colours – Turquoise and Black.

Charger

Luxury Gift Box

Velvet Carrying Pouch

User Manual

Authenticity Card

The Temptation:

Opening the box filled me with anticipation. L'Amourose has beautiful packaging! Inside the turquoise  box were two black boxes; one marked accessories, the other AR. AR is also embossed on the velvet bag that came with my trio of toys. 

I'm a huge fan of silicon sex toys because of the smoothness of the surface, it also helps with cleaning. The trio is safe for the body and the silicon is nonporous. 

I was excited about the interchangeable parts and the remote control. The design is unique and attractive. I was thrilled about the remote, especially, because it could take partner play to a whole new level. The company boast that remote is powerful enough to work up to 50 feet away and it has a memory function that allows me to create a 10 second loop of my favorite vibration modes and speeds. 

I liked the LANA. It isn't one size fits all so it might not line up directly with your clit. I did enjoy the 5 different modes and the various speeds. 

The Taboo:

I tried out the 2 of three silicon cradles. I used them alone and with my partner. My first issue was turning the bullet on. You're supposed hold the on button for 5 seconds to turn it on but it took significantly longer and I had to press pretty hard before it worked. I was also confused by the charge time. The bullet is supposed to charge for an hour and have a 100 day standby charge but I found it completely dead after a few days of non-use. 

In order to use the toys with the remote, you have to turn on the bullet separately from the remote before use. I also found it difficult to control through my skin sometimes with the remote. So much for secret public play. 

MAE was a little uncomfortable when inserted vaginally. The plastic of the bullet felt slightly awkward and kinda irritating but that may be due to how tight I am. The bullet automatically shuts off after 30- 45 minutes and because of the low comfort level, I wasn't able to climax before it stopped vibrating and responding to the remote. I enjoyed the LANA a lot more. 

The Tally:

I give the PARAMOUR Classique trio - 3 out of 5 hearts💗💗💗💟💟

Choose something different if:

You want something quick and easy 

You plan public play

You don't have a penis or use a dildo [CLARK was unusable for me]

(L'AMOUROSE has other Trio sets: PARAMOUR FEMME for females & PARAMOUR HOMME for males)

Buy this product if: 

You have extra money 

You're a gadget fan

You want pretty toys in your sex closet

Strap-ons

Dear Misty, 

I recently went on a few dates with a woman and we seem to really be hitting it off. We have fooled around and kissed but we haven't had sex yet. I attempted to go down on her but she stopped me. I tried explaining why I wanted to please her but nothing was "sweet" enough. What can I do?

-- Cunnilingually Lost

Dear Lost, 

The first time I went down on a woman, there was a lot going on. We were in the midst of a threesome and I just went for it. As a woman, I feel as though, I have an advantage when it comes to pleasing other women. I was only worried for a split second about what to do and how to do it. 

The question is how do let a woman know you want her? What can you say or do to make her feel at ease? 

Maybe she doesn't like oral sex. There are people who feel that way. Some may have never experienced good oral. I know a woman whose first time involved her period and a sidewalk and mental scares. She doesn't like oral and for good reason. 

**Never talk someone into something they don't feel comfortable doing! If she says NO, it always means NO!! 

If you have established that sex is gonna happen, you have to make your partner feel comfortable. I, like everyone else, have oral fears! My biggest fear when someone gets ready to go down on me are:

1. My smell

2. Hair length (Is it too long, short or scratchy?)

3. My taste (Did I clean everything?)

4. Squirting (Should I warn the person or will that set an impossible goal?)

5. My moans (Am I moaning enough? Too much?)

You should always be honest about your feelings. Let your partner know how special she is. Try these sweet words:

1. When you want to go down on her - "May I taste you?" might be too dirty but "Is it ok if I please you?" will make her feel powerful and in control. 

2. When she gets undressed - "You are absolutely, astoundingly gorgeous and that's the least interesting thing about you." 

3. When you're kissing your way to her sweet spot- "You smell like heaven"

4. While kissing her lips (not the ones on her face) - Moaning is always a good thing to hear. 

5. After she cums - say "Thank you" with a smile.  

If she doesn't return the favor, it's ok. It takes time to be comfortable with who you are and what you find pleasurable. Never give to receive, that will only create resentment! Oral is something to be shared, it's about intimacy! 

I hope this is helpful and I hope you're able to give her the face ride of her life. Remember, we can be afraid during a new experience, so trust and comfort are key!

Misty

Cunnilingus

Dear Misty, 

I recently went on a few dates with a woman and we seem to really be hitting it off. We have fooled around and kissed but we haven't had sex yet. I attempted to go down on her but she stopped me. I tried explaining why I wanted to please her but nothing was "sweet" enough. What can I do?

-- Cunnilingually Lost

Dear Lost, 

The first time I went down on a woman, there was a lot going on. We were in the midst of a threesome and I just went for it. As a woman, I feel as though, I have an advantage when it comes to pleasing other women. I was only worried for a split second about what to do and how to do it. 

The question is how do let a woman know you want her? What can you say or do to make her feel at ease? 

Maybe she doesn't like oral sex. There are people who feel that way. Some may have never experienced good oral. I know a woman whose first time involved her period and a sidewalk and mental scares. She doesn't like oral and for good reason. 

**Never talk someone into something they don't feel comfortable doing! If she says NO, it always means NO!! 

If you have established that sex is gonna happen, you have to make your partner feel comfortable. I, like everyone else, have oral fears! My biggest fear when someone gets ready to go down on me are:

1. My smell

2. Hair length (Is it too long, short or scratchy?)

3. My taste (Did I clean everything?)

4. Squirting (Should I warn the person or will that set an impossible goal?)

5. My moans (Am I moaning enough? Too much?)

You should always be honest about your feelings. Let your partner know how special she is. Try these sweet words:

1. When you want to go down on her - "May I taste you?" might be too dirty but "Is it ok if I please you?" will make her feel powerful and in control. 

2. When she gets undressed - "You are absolutely, astoundingly gorgeous and that's the least interesting thing about you." 

3. When you're kissing your way to her sweet spot- "You smell like heaven"

4. While kissing her lips (not the ones on her face) - Moaning is always a good thing to hear. 

5. After she cums - say "Thank you" with a smile.  

If she doesn't return the favor, it's ok. It takes time to be comfortable with who you are and what you find pleasurable. Never give to receive, that will only create resentment! Oral is something to be shared, it's about intimacy! 

I hope this is helpful and I hope you're able to give her the face ride of her life. Remember, we can be afraid during a new experience, so trust and comfort are key!

Misty

Sex History

As I have gotten older and my sexuality has matured, my body has gone through changes. 

When I was

14 years old, I had been masturbating for almost a year. I could orgasm from

rubbing my nipples alone. I discovered my clit around that age too and was enjoying

my self-love. I also discovered internet porn, erotica and porno mags.

When I was

18, I lost my virginity and in one single night, I tried almost everything. I

gave my first blow job that night, slow and with a bit of teeth. I was a quick

learner and eventually gave the perfect BJ. Those college years were great. I

wasn’t really into kissing but with the right partner, I could almost get off

from a good make-out session.  I had sex

in cars, in twin-size beds and the forest behind the dorms. I was adventurous

but still a bit timid. 

In my early

to mid-20’s, I had an array of sexual relationships. I dated women and men. I

enjoyed a threesome or 2. I bought sex toys and really tried to explore the

world of sex. There were one night stands and drunken hook-ups. I had relationships

that bordered on obsessions because I could separate sex from love but not

chastity from love. The make-out to orgasm part of my life was entering a new

realm at that point. I met almost virgins and made sure that status was gone; I

had discovered pity sex. (Pity sex - a

strong feeling of sadness or sympathy for someone that results in sex.) 

By my late 20’s, I learned the

metaphor, “you can never go home again” applied to my sex life. The guys who

seemed decent in bed 7 years earlier, were awful in bed. I had grown a lot

sexually and they hadn’t. I met young Marines who knew how to serve a body,

older men who could open my mind as well as my legs and a couple who redefined

relationships for me. I started a fairly successful fetish business. I started

the redefinition of myself.

Now, in my 30’s, I am in the middle

of my revival. I was never one to follow many rules or do things the way others

have. I have stopped chasing my own tail and decided to date women exclusively.

I took a stand and declared my pan-sexuality and stopped entertaining bullshit.

I have had some of the most amazing sex to date. I have made an art of giving

an orgasm. I have a small collection of sex toys and eventually want to create

my own. I have declared my sexuality to be my own for the first time in my

life. I love that I can look back and see my transition into the woman I am. I

love that I have a sexual time line. My sex is infinite and we’re just at the

beginning.

Misty 

Periods

Has there ever been something more loathed? I can truly say that I have only liked my period a handful of times. All involving the thought, "please don't let me be pregnant with his baby!" And never, "Yay! I'm still in my childbearing years."

Here is why periods suck to me:

1. Blood everywhere - I'm going to be 32 years old and I still can't always keep my panties clean. 

2. Cramps - it feels like an elephant in Jimmy Choos is grinding his feet into my stomach for at least the first 2-3 days. 

3. Food- All I want is potato chips which cause bloating, ice cream and soda which worsen my cramps. And after I cook or order greasy comfort food, I'm not hungry. 

4. I hate going to the bathroom - I find bodily functions to be a chore, so when I have to spend even more time in the bathroom, it's extra annoying. 

5. Emotions - I don't get "bitchy" on my period (thank goodness) but I do get weepy. I can't watch a Romantic Comedy without tearing up a little. And is horny an emotion?? 

But as I rolled over this morning and mumbled, "My tummy hurts" I was yet again thankful to have my girlfriend. She placed her warm hands on my stomach to calm my cramps. 

In a similar vein, last month, we were on our way to lunch when she took a bathroom break and discovered Mother Nature had arrived. I raced to the store to buy her pads and for good measure, I also bought her chocolate and a stuffed animal. 

The moral: periods suck but the people around you can make it better!!

Kisses,

Misty!