Top 10 WoS items you should have!

This is a life hack!!
WoS = Walk of Shame

I rarely spend the night at a guys house, so when it happens, I am usually less than prepared. I, like a lot of women, have a lot of stuff in my car. So most situations, I'm covered but not well, so I keep an overnight bag now. 

Here's a list of the top 10 items I have in my bag:

1. My taser - After meeting the crazy Puerto Rican couple, who liked to swing, I was inspired to take my safety into consideration. Before them, I had no regard to the risk I was taking meeting strangers.
2. Sexy underwear - Not just clean underwear. You never know who will see your panties next, so make sure you pack the cute one! 
3. Tampons- I recommend having a few guys who don't mind when the red sea approaches! But on light days, you can trick any guy into thinking you're not on. Tampons are flushable, so pop into the bathroom and get rid of it right before! Pads complicate things too much!
4. Clothes - This is obvious! I'd opt for yoga pants and a cute top or hoodie. That way you're still cute for whatever or whoever you do next. Plus it's comfortable without looking sloppy!
5. Baby wipes - You'll want these on hand anyway! It's the best way to get rid of boob sweat throughout the day. I also sweat in other places where my fat sticks together! Stay fresh ladies!!
6. Deodorant - I carry this anyway! I am very forgetful and work in an active environment. If I forget it, people will notice! 
7. Listerine - I am not one to brush and floss several times a day, so I do a quick rinse before meeting someone.
8. Snacks - Fruit snacks or snack crackers are good to keep on hand. I forget to eat sometimes and hate showing up with my stomach growling! It's not a good look or sound. 
9. Bottled Water - You should probably have this in your car for emergencies anyway but I like to keep it on hand to take meds. I also like to bring one with me because men are never prepared for you being thirsty. I don't mind sharing your redbull but I'd like my own drink and one that doe not give me "wings"
10. Medicine - I keep Ibuprofen, Prilosac, claritin and immodium on hand at all times! I have arthritis, acid re-flux, IBS and allergies. I don't want get sick from food or have an allergic reaction to the many animals, single men seem to have. I also know what I like in bed and know that I may need a pain reliever in the morning. 

Edging

There's this new phenomenon called Edging.
It's probably only popular for people ages 18-23. It happens when two people are having sex or fooling around and right before either of you cum, you stop. You're walk away from your orgasm and never let it be fulfilled. Sounds terrible, right!
I was a victim of edging. I'd like to come up with a pun about a double edge sword or something clever to laugh off the anger from no one cumming but I got nothing! I do not always orgasm, I am ok with that. I am, however, amazing in bed and have made men cum in a matter of seconds, so I hate when no one gets off. What are we there for? Someone should get off. I don't mind if I do and he doesn't (that usually involves meds or drinking).
I know, I'm 30 and falling asleep during sex may be expected and at my age (if I were a man) it'd be normal to not always get off. But I'm in my sexual peak with partners under 30. We should be cumming, we should be cumming until we get dehydrated. We should cum so much that only plasma is left.

Moral: Edging is dumb and the next guy who thinks he's gonna edge me will get punched.