I love Christmas. It's the season of giving and joy. This year, though, I'm having a hard time feeling the cheer. I know it's not technically December yet but I've been trying to get into it early.
I broke my leg at the knee in a showering incident at the end of September and basically downward spiraled into poverty. I had to stop tutoring completely and lost several jobs because I was bedridden. I only had my online business and it being in its infancy, means breaking even most months.
I've taken an online teaching job from home while I recover but debt doesn't wait. With my landlord threatening eviction monthly, the stress has become a mountain of stress on my soul. I can feel the grime of greed and callousness peeling away the layers of happiness that I've been wrapping myself with.
I think the most disheartening thing was getting my cast removed, only to still not be able to get back to work right away.
My first steps out of my cast taught me that physical therapy is necessary to retrain your body.
It's been 3 weeks of being cast free and since I can't afford to go to physical therapy, I've been working on getting stronger by myself (with my girlfriend's help).
Once able to amble around again, I had 1 tutoring job left to go back to, the parents were kind enough to recommend me to their friends. I now have 2 families to tutor a week.
It just feels like such an uphill battle for survival. Like breaking my leg broke my spirit along with it.
So I started watching Christmas movies on November 1st so I could feel the spirit of Christmas because I really need it. Having to sit out of Halloween and many other of my favorite activities really put a damper on the joyous flame that burns within. I was hoping that Hallmark would help me rekindle it.
