I have said in the past that I don't date men from work. I have this rule for various reasons: work can become awkward, very little alone time and what if you break up because you can't quit. Well I never thought about bad sex. What happens if you have bad sex?
I wouldn't even mention this if it hadn't happened to me. I broke my rule! I slept with a coworker. The entire situation was doomed from the start. If I forget the fact that he's a closeted narcissist and the fact that he wears "mom jeans", he'd still be a dickhole.
We went out for drinks with colleagues and after too many beers, he invited me back to his place to watch Lion King. Once we got to his shared apartment, instead of Lion King on the tv, we watched South Park on his laptop.
Eventually we started kissing and after an hour of that, we took it a little further. It was cute, really. A lot of fondling like teenagers. Then when we couldn't take anymore, we had a discussion about sex, should we, shouldn't we. We did! For about 2 seconds.
I have had quite a bit of sex in my life. I have had long sex, short sex, quick sex, outdoor sex, floor sex, Walmart sex, church sex, group sex and Chinese sex... Just to name a few! But this shouldn't be called sex. Quick sex is usually 5-10 minutes in my experience but this wasn't that.
Let me set the scene: he lay on top of me, and once he was inside, I could feel his arousal. He felt amazing. As he pulled back for his second thrust inside me, he clinched his fist, scrunched up his face and said "fuck it" and came.
I have retold the story several times to a few people. Every time I tell the story, they assume that when he said fuck it ,it was in his head but no, it was out loud. The next morning I decided that I would get things started again because obviously the previous night it was a fluke. No grown man in his late 20s would cum so fast. So I put my hand under the sheet and began to rub him. I wanted redemption! Just as I placed my tongue on his penis, he came again! I couldn't believe I had broken my rule for a few seconds of a hint of pleasure. What a waste!!!!
The moral to the story: don't fuck someone from work because even if their penis is nice, the sex could be awful and fast. And then you'll have to ride the subway home with them (every fucking night) while they hit on other girls who will be disappointed in their sexual prowess in the future.
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