Harassed

Sometime in December of 2015, a friend of mine introduced me to a guy who was looking for a job here. She gave me his contract information because I have a jobs group and could probably help. 

After having one conversation with this man, it became extremely apparent that he hated women and was crazy. He verbally attacked me about my relationship with my girlfriend. He verbally attacked my friend because she didn't want to have sex with him. 

We both blocked him from social media. Unfortunately his fragile ego was bruised by us not letting him continue to berate us. So he left several awful messages in the jobs group including his catchphrases "dyke, monkey ass hoe, your cakes in them jeans, that's the problem with black feminist" and so on. I removed him from the group. 

Every 2 months or so he creates new profiles and joins other groups in order to attack her or I. 

He is attacking her on Facebook and WeChat to this very day. 

His most recent attack against me was in a food group. Some people wanted to know what I did to make him so angry. Some told me to ignore him, others suggested responding. 

In the end it doesn't matter what I do, he's always there trying to fight me verbally because he can't get to me physically. This man lives in China like I do but in a different city. If he did come to my city, I have no doubt in my mind what he'd do. 

He is dangerous. He is crazy. 

But I'm not scared of him. I'm not afraid of a coward who's only joy is belittling people. Who is so insecure that a woman saying NO was enough to crush his spirit and send into a psychotic break. 

Addiction

I've talked about having an addiction before but since I've been enjoying the fruits of a LTR over the last year and a half, I haven't had to really deal with all the things that having a sex addiction entails. 

Like with any addition, you're always an addict. These things don't go away just because you're not partaking in the things you're addicted to or using those things responsibly. 

For the most past 18 months, I had very few withdrawal moments where my sex drive threatened to consume me like the fire it is. But how would I handle that fire when I have no outlet? 

My girlfriend is on location for a movie and her 10 day stay turned into nearly a month. The fire inside me grew everyday and though I have things like porn and sex toys at my disposal, nothing could satiate my addiction. 

So last night, I decided (after a failed masturbation attempt) to get rid of the porn. 

Every time I use porn, it's always the same, quick unsatisfactory orgasms. It's like eating gummi bears for dinner. It always seems like a good or fun idea until I'm left hungrier and disgusted with myself. 

When I was younger and porn wasn't as easy to watch online, I'd stack my orgasms, sometimes quick porn ones and other times, just me, my fingers and imagination for deep satisfying orgasms. But the older I got, the more the addition, my weak will and sense of adventure would lead me to men and women and sex and experimenting. 

In a LTR there is sex and experimenting but when you're alone, you have to figure out other ways to deal with your addiction. 

So I decided to kick it old school and go back to my imagination and fingers. No electronics necessary. And of course I (only me) never disappoint. 

Of course, I run a sex shop and in the name of consumerism, should want you to buy more toys. And toys are so much fun but God gave you 10 toys and they never run out of batteries. Sometimes it's nice to unplug!

Eating at Corrine’s

Eating at Corrine’s


There's something thrilling about opening the Lust app and knowing that in my half kilometer radius there are at least 50 men and women who are searching for the same thing I am. It's been even better odds since I moved to Shanghai. In a city of almost 30 million people, there's always someone who craves physical contact and anonymity like me and today my need was overwhelming. 

It always starts unexpectedly but feels the same. It's like a slow flame of desire creeping up my thighs like a lovers hand, playing at the edge of my panties, hovering over my clit without touching it but swelling it nonetheless. The deepest, most carnal sensation and there was only one way to satiate it. 

I still had an hour before my lunch break but concentrating on work wasn't an option. My mind became clouded with thoughts hands lifting my tight pencil skirt above my hips and possibly more than one set of hands finding their way around and learning the secrets stored there.  With a slight tremble in my voice, I called my boss to let her know I had to step out for a bit and would be back after lunch. Being the employee of the month had its perks and I was definitely cashing in during moments like these.  

I decided to go to the observation deck and look out over the city. I figured my fear of heights should be enough to push down the overwhelming feeling of raw heat radiating from me.  The ride up to the 121st floor was fast, it helped that we had the world’s fastest elevators but the higher I rode, the more my lust threatened to take over me.  

As I stepped out of the elevator and made my way to the windows and overlook, I was again in awe of how many people were always around in a city of this size.  I opened the app, watching my status go online.  

Tara, 30, Single, Bi, Looking for Adventure

I was testing my own patience waiting for a ping. I busied myself by looking out over the city. The view and the vastness of Shanghai has a way of making you feel small even if you are bigger than the average Chinese person. 

My phone vibrated in my hand, making other parts of me vibrate too.  Before I could check my messages, someone stood beside me, so close I could feel their heat radiating and smell a sweet candy like scent.  

"Breathtaking" a melodic voice breathed in almost a whisper.  

I tilted my head slightly to catch a glimpse of my new companion. I couldn't completely turn towards her because of how close she was next to me. Close enough to feel her breast brushing against my shoulder. I realized she wasn't looking at the view at all and I felt a blush creep from my face all the way down to my toes.  

"The quietness of my suite was driving me mad" she mused almost to herself "but I have a feeling you can help me with that." 

She finished, her eyes meeting mine.  I glanced at my phone, 11:10, plenty of time before I had to get back to the 27th floor.  I followed her to the elevators, noticing her straight onyx hair, her curves and when she turned, her pert breasts.  

“Corrine” she said as her deep brown eyes traveled over my body as if studying it like a map.  I let out a breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. We stopped on the 108th floor and stepped out onto the thickly carpeted J Hotel.  As she led me to her room, my body buzzed with anticipation which made my clothes feel very confining. 

I didn't hesitate stepping through the threshold of what could only be described as pure opulence in the form of a suite. I lost focus on the room as her hands found their way under my skirt, past my damp panties and against my throbbing clit within seconds. I let out a loud moan shuttered almost immediately orgasming. I had never come so quickly and violently but instead of my desire dampening after, my body burned hotter and craved more of this woman.  I turned to her, grasping her firm body against mine and sinking my tongue deep into her mouth, imagining how much deeper I wanted my tongue in other parts of her.  

Our clothes had found their way to the floor as our kissing had transported us against the large floor to ceiling windows.  I lowered myself in front of her and devoured her body as though I was starved. I drank her long and deep like she was made of pure ambrosia. Behind her the city was bustling loud and busy but all I could hear was the sound of her, a low cadence that slowly grew into an almost guttural sound as she got closer to losing control and I got closer to drowning inside her. 

We spent the remainder of my lunch hour consuming each other and room service.  As I returned to my humble office on the 27th floor, the sexual haze began to subside and the dream of Corrine faded away. Was she real? If it wasn't for the weakness in my legs and my panty-less body, I wouldn't have believed it myself.  

"I'll be here for 2 weeks." She had said and I knew I'd be eating at Corrine's again. 

The Wonderful World of Clit

In a far away kingdom, that no one understood, live Queen Clitoris up under a hood 

How much do you know about the clitoris? 

If I'm being honest, I didn't know much about the clit until the last couple of years. 

Of course I stumbled upon clitoral masturbation as a young teenager but didn't have my first orgasm with a partner for another 10 years.  It took me until I was 27 to use a vibrator correctly. So even sex bloggers have a lot to learn and experience. 

The clitoris has more nerve endings than anywhere else on the body, approximately 8,000, which is double the amount that the penis has

It's the only part of the human body whose sole purpose is pleasure. Beneath the visible pink button, called the glans, lies a wishbone-shaped structure comprising a shaft, which extends about an inch up toward the pubic bone, and two 3*inch arms called crura that reach down and back toward the pelvic bone in an inverted V shape. Though the shaft and crura send pleasure signals to the brain during sex, the glans is more sensitive. That's why it has a hood — without it, a pair of tight jeans would send your nervous system into overdrive.

Two bulbs of erectile tissue run alongside the crura. Many experts believe that this tissue is part of the clitoris too. Studies found that the clitoris is also connected to erectile tissue surrounding the urethra and extending up to the front wall of the vagina — where the enigmatic G-spot has been known to pop up.

The Clitoris is the Queen of orgasms but heading straight to the clitoris gives you a less pleasurable orgasm than if your partner touches, gentle strokes, or massages other parts of your genitals before traveling to the epicenter. The more vocal you are about the speed, intensity, and pressure you prefer, the better the end result will be. 

Unlike a man’s penis, your clitoris can maintain most of its blood supply after an orgasm. Although you may experience a little sensitivity immediately post-O, you can have plenty of multiple orgasmspretty quickly because you’re physically still right at the point of no return.

Like any other part of your body, the clitoris should be stimulated in a way that creates blood flow in and out to keep it healthy. Although chances are very low, lack of blood flow to the clitoris could potentially cause clitoral atrophy. Keep your blood pumping with plenty of sex, masturbation, arousal, and orgasms. Better safe than sorry!

Blah

I love Christmas. It's the season of giving and joy. This year, though, I'm having a hard time feeling the cheer. I know it's not technically December yet but I've been trying to get into it early. 

I broke my leg at the knee in a showering incident at the end of September and basically downward spiraled into poverty. I had to stop tutoring completely and lost several jobs because I was bedridden. I only had my online business and it being in its infancy, means breaking even most months. 

I've taken an online teaching job from home while I recover but debt doesn't wait. With my landlord threatening eviction monthly, the stress has become a mountain of stress on my soul. I can feel the grime of greed and callousness peeling away the layers of happiness that I've been wrapping myself with. 

I think the most disheartening thing was getting my cast removed, only to still not be able to get back to work right away. 

My first steps out of my cast taught me that physical therapy is necessary to retrain your body. 

It's been 3 weeks of being cast free and since I can't afford to go to physical therapy, I've been working on getting stronger by myself (with my girlfriend's help). 

Once able to amble around again, I had 1 tutoring job left to go back to, the parents were kind enough to recommend me to their friends. I now have 2 families to tutor a week. 

It just feels like such an uphill battle for survival. Like breaking my leg broke my spirit along with it. 

So I started watching Christmas movies on November 1st so I could feel the spirit of Christmas because I really need it. Having to sit out of Halloween and many other of my favorite activities really put a damper on the joyous flame that burns within. I was hoping that Hallmark would help me rekindle it. 

TITZ Intimate Boutique: A Love Story

Opening my own store has been the greatest and most tiring thing I've ever done! I've talked about the 14-18 hour days, all of which I'm humped over in front of the computer, my iPad and my phone. Working online means constant staring at screens. But I also feed my shopping demons by getting to buy cool things almost everyday!

I have reviewed a few products through my blog in the past. Today I want to review my online shop TITZ. Now it may seem unethical to review my own store so I want to do it a little differently. I, like most businesses, order wholesale from factories. This is a journey through finding the perfect items and review of the people and places I deal with daily in order to bring the coolest things to my store. 

The first thing I ever bought for my shop was pasties. I had gone to a Sexpo and met many vendors there. One sold very cool and well made pasties. I figured with Festival season happening soon, I'd have the market to sell them. I had never bought wholesale before and wasn't the most prepared. I learned very quickly that while some wholesalers will sell you a few items at a time for a slightly higher price, most want you to buy in bulk. 

After ordering over 300 pairs of pasties, I was ready to start. I could only hope that I would have enough nipples that wanted covering. I quickly made my first sell but my follow up act took longer to cultivate. I had a few potential customers but those sells usually involved a midnight plea and a 7am flight. My teleportation skills being what they are, I couldn't make those sells happen. I knew I had to  branch out. 

I had only been selling pasties for a week when I was asked to participate in a festival fund raiser. Dragon Burn, China's very own version of Burning Man. I quickly agreed. My first pop up shop and I had 297 pasties and nothing more. I needed inventory but what would I sell? After talking to many factories and being rejected or ignored by half of them, I found a few to work with. Of course this was a great time to practice my mandarin skills because out of the 10 factories I was working with, 2 spoke English. I had a week to order bulk and get things arranged. I ended up having half of the things delivered to the venue the day of. One company, the worst company ever, sent my order on the day I needed it so it arrived the day after the event. I was a lingerie shop without lingerie. Not only did it arrive too late but the quality was so poor, I use the products for craft projects. The factory didn't even complete my order. They only sent half and it was completely unusable. 

Despite the huge and minor setbacks, my first pop up market was hugely successful for my shop.  Since then I have participated in Flea market but quickly learned that my brand new goods don't fair as well against a 10 rmb secondhand table. I'm learning as I go. After opening in April, I am at a crossroads. It's only been a few months but business in Shanghai is like wildfire, it moves pretty quickly. I'm having to choose between working with factories and people who helped me start and doing what's best for my company. More than once a week, I have to talk to companies that I've been working with about my orders. I am met with forgetfulness about my orders that paid but not sent, that are paid but out of stock. Business is hard and spending all of my free time on it is tough but I wouldn't give up my business for anything. 

I have started using my business to help NGOs and charities. My heart is constantly breaking for all the bad in the world. I know throwing money at the issues isn't enough but I feel that if I create a t-shirt or other item that helps raise awareness and also donate money, it will help. If I can't physically be in the trenches, I can still support. Doing nothing is the only way we ensure our failure. My shop is owned by a black queer woman, I represent 3 underfed, underfunded communities, so I have dedicated my store and my story to them. 

I have purchased the domain name sleepingtopless.com but the process of getting my own website has been long and arduous. In Shanghai many people have their own small businesses but they also work a day job and because of this their passion gets put to the side. I would really prefer to work with people with similar dreams to mine so I have employed several of these entrepreneurs. Unfortunately I aftero purchasing the domain name in May, it wasn't until June that I actually found a good hosting company and now July, I am working with two different web designers on my website design. Hopefully it will come to fruition soon. Until then here is the link to my online store, feel free to add me on WeChat or Facebook to make a purchase: http://weidian.com/?userid=951605525&string=noopenidfound&code=0310Vsod17AkWo0mpand1Itxod10VsoW&state=H5WXshare

(My dream website layout)

My First Vibrator

My first vibrator was a teal "pocket rocket". I bought it on a very quick trip into the local Hustler of Hollywood. My trip was quick because my city was protesting the sex toy superstore and I was afraid of being caught by the news cameras camped outside. This was the summer after I turned 19. Since then, I've tried and done many more things. But I will be honest, I bought and used this vibrator for several years before I truly understood how to use it. Times have changed and you can buy these things over the internet. Bloggers like me have written and post reviews about every sex toy under the sun! But what should you consider before purchasing your first vibrator?

65% of women reach orgasm through clitoral stimulation alone, rather than sexual penetration, so for most beginners a vibrator is the best place to start, rather than a dildo. And, while that narrows down your choices, there are still many types of vibrators to choose from and not all of them are ideal for beginners.

Bullets and eggs:

Bullets and egg vibrators are very small and usually fairly powerful for their size. They are discrete and fairly affordable for first-time buyers. They come in many various designs, range in speeds from single to multiple speeds and vibrating patterns. All are fairly simple to use and are perfect for a first time buyer. 

Pocket Rockets:

Pocket Rockets are the best selling small clitoral vibrators on the market. They are the size of a mini pocket flashlights and are very discrete, affordable and simple to use. I prefer them over bullets and eggs because they are easier to manipulate and hold on to, especially if you are wet or slippery with lube. Basic pocket rockets are one speed only, which is usually enough power for a younger woman. I recommend multiple speed rockets because you have more variation and you won’t outgrow them. These are a bit more expensive but worth the investment. 

Wands:

The Hitachi Magic Wand is the best selling and most powerful vibrator ever made, but it is often way too powerful for a first-time buyer. However, other body massagers are much smaller, have more variations in speed and are some of my most favorite vibes. My all time favorite vibrator is the Scorpio massager. It costs about 350rmb and is double sided to give you that extra oomph of power. This vibe is great for the beginner and expert vibe enthusiastic as it is multi-speed, but also very discrete and quiet.

There are several other types of vibrators on the market, but none as ideal for beginners as the three types above. The rabbit vibe is a great example. These vibes feature a vibrating dildo for penetration and clitoral stimulator (flicking rabbit ears) in one. They are much more sophisticated than clitoral-only vibes and may be too advanced for a beginner. 

G spot vibes are dildos with a curved shape that facilitate G spot stimulation. Most beginners have a hard time stimulating their G spot, so I wouldn't recommend these to start with. Classic and phallic shaped vibes are more geared towards penetration and are not ideal for clitoral stimulation. Strap-on (butterfly) vibes and vibrating panties are not very comfortable, lack power and are hard to position where you want them (hello, clitoris!). Couple's vibes are very expensive, not very powerful, and though fun to play with, I don’t recommend them for beginners. Luxury vibes are usually very beautiful, discrete, but super expensive and often lack power as well. 

Love Rings or vibrating cock rings are great for beginners who want to explore together. They are inexpensive, usually disposable, and can be a great addition to sex with a partner. But, since we are mainly talking about masturbation and self-pleasure here, we'll get back to them at another time.

Whatever you choose... Remember to have fun, relax and let pleasure be your guide!       

Love, Misty